Part 5 of 9
It was a cold and snowy day in Boulder, Colorado March 1985. I was waiting for a woman to arrive for a Tai Yi treatment. I had been having doubts about working on this woman, but she seemed in so much pain from her spine. I heard car doors close in our driveway and looked out the window to see a man helping this woman walk up to our front door. I opened the door and invited them in to sit on our couch. She began to explain how she has had back pain from her childhood and was now in her 40’s. The man with her was her husband. He was very quiet, when he did try to speak, she would ask him to be quiet and let her do the talking. After a few minutes, I had her husband help her get up on the massage table in the middle of the living room. As always, I first did a scan with my hand to determine the depth of energy I was seeing in her body and in particular her spine. I could not find any spinal injury which would cause this pain. I did find much anger from her childhood causing this pain. As she was laying face down I began to ask her a series of questions about her childhood, relationships, and how she saw herself. With each question she would answer no, no such event ever occurred. I looked over at her husband, whom she could not see, and he was agreeing with everything I was finding, as she was denying everything. After about ten minutes of this I finally told her, “You are too invested in your denial. You do not want to heal, but rather be taken care of and this is your way of doing it.”
Her husband then spoke up and said, “Thank God someone finally has told her what she needs to hear.” This she heard and became very angry.
I told her, “I cannot help. If in the future you decide to look at your issues, then perhaps I can help you.”
She got up and demanded her husband take her to the car, speaking as she was walking, “This was a waste of time.”
When she left I could see waves of anger moving through our living room. I gathered it up and sent it on its way, putting the energy of our living room back to its former state before she arrived.
A few days later I went to see my teacher. I knew this was going to be a top topic of discussion. When I arrived at the cave, sure enough he was there sitting on the stone Tai Yi table smiling. “What did you learn about denial?” he asked.
I answered, “Denial is more painful than the physical pain one carries.”
“Yes,” he answered, “denial is much more painful because it carries pain in the mental and emotional bodies through to the physical body.”
“How does that work?” I asked.
“The meridians are currents of energy, these currents carry information. Whatever information that is programmed for them to carry, they carry and deliver that information. If pain is the program they carry, then the energy moves through the mental and emotional meridians to the physical and acts like an explosion. This explosive energy translates into pain in the physical body, if there is already pain in the body, the pain increases. I could say simply the Neuro-matrix centered on the portions of the cerebral cortex of the brain brings about perception of pain. Now that would be an intellectual reply, you are looking for a spiritual understanding. Denial is an energy program. It denies the energy of healing, the energy of joy.”
“How can one know they are in denial?” I asked.
“Know if they are in denial!” He responded with a big laugh, “You can see it. Did you not see it when she came into your home?”
“Yes,” I answered, “but what about others needing to know this?”
“Yes others, well you look and see if they are spiritual shoppers. Do they go about shopping for teachers until they find a non teacher who agrees with them? The woman who came to your home was shopping; her mate was tired of shopping. He got it and she did not.”
“Now the meridians; they are carriers of energy, information, both pleasant and unpleasant creating pain or joy. Energy needs the direction of wisdom with knowledge. How many deny who they are to keep face with family and social standards? You are not separate from that which you believe. What you believe to support your social standards is the energy that flows through the meridians. Be in denial, you deny not only who you are, you deny healing. You did well choosing not to work on this one. You would have absorbed this one’s energy.” He smiled and said, “Now your next test will arrive next week, get some rest for this one, go home. I shall enjoy my rice”…Hossca