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Part 9 of 9

His answer shocked me and pushed me into another realm of consciousness to explore.

“Correct answer!” he shouted. “How can one have a correct answer with such a complex issue of life, death, suffering, and transcending?  Life is a continuum, a continuous series of events that blend into each other so gradually and seamlessly, it is difficult to say where one becomes the next, just as a rainbow forms a continuum of color.  This garden took many years in developing the stages of healing, stemming from the traumatic human suffering that occurred.  Many do not understand healing, they understand they want the pain to end, but before the pain can truly end they must understand healing.  Life Energy Flow Tai Yi does indeed work in stages of healing, it also prevents healing from over lapping which can cause greater pain.  Your conscious mind perceives 5% of life in the physical, for the physical only occupies 5%.  Life is a continuum beyond the 5% physical; most pain comes from that part beyond the 5%.  Your future learning shall encompass healing beyond the 5%.  Dreams are a pathway to learning beyond the 5%.  The brain is a physical organ divided into many parts; the mind is nonphysical also divided into many parts.  Those parts keep themselves separated until the division is healed.  The division is caused by denial.  If an adult wants to heal their childhood, but the mind denies remembering their childhood it creates a division. Or if the adult has false memories of childhood abuse it also creates a division.  If an adult wants to heal pain, they must open that part of themselves of which the pain originated.”  

My teacher saw I was getting a little confused and said, “Let us walk to my shelter.  I will have one bring me some rice.”

I thought to myself, this is going to take a long time. He eats rice one grain at a time.  He heard my thoughts, laughed and said, “I eat half the grains and you eat half the grains.” 

Me, chop sticks, eating one grain at a time.  Yes, this will take a long time.  As we arrived at his shelter, a young girl about the age of 16 was walking out his doorway.  “Your rice is ready,” she replied to my teacher.

He bowed to her, walked in, and sat in front of his rice bowl.  There were two sets of chop sticks. “You are serious?” I asked.

He laughed and stated, “Now eat.” 

As I sat down, he pulled a small bottle of herbs out of his pocket and sprinkled a bright green colored powder on the rice.  I looked down at the rice when he spoke, “Rice is a conduit for herbs or whatever I choose to put on the rice.  The human body is a conduit for the soul.  Learn to read the body and you learn to read the soul.  You learn to read the pain, the joy, the direction you shall take tomorrow.  Many try to change their body, not knowing why their body is the way it is.  Many try to change the pain without knowing, why the pain is what it is.  Many try to heal anger or disease, without understanding why it is there.  Many choose to judge the body, the pain, anger, or disease. This judgment blocks all understanding of why it is what it is.”

“Heal in stages?”

“Yes, but first you must understand the stages, then you heal.  This garden is healing in stages, but before it could heal one had to understand the stages of the pain and suffering that had occurred in that spot. The pain and suffering that occurred in that spot continues. It is a continuum one life after another, until one looks at the cause and asks why it is what it is.  The people now of my village, were ones that died that day of the storm.  They have returned to build a beautiful garden on the same spot.  They have learned to turn pain into beauty, suffering into inspiration. I teach you Life Energy Flow Tai Yi so you might turn pain into beauty, and suffering into inspiration.  Yes, beauty and inspiration is the pathway to home…to be continued in my book “Walking with a Master”…Hossca

Part 8 of 9

On the way down to the meadow I stopped on the edge of the path, and looked down at the Jujube tree in the center of the small meadow. My teacher had stated this tree had the answer to my question, I had presented to him about the labor of healing. As I looked closer, I could see this was not just an ordinary meadow. It was beautifully groomed with many pathways curving throughout. It looked very much like a Chinese classical garden. My teacher heard my thought and said, “A Poetic Garden, this provide a spiritual utopia to connect with nature, to connect with healing.”

“A spiritual utopia?” I asked.

“Yes, a place for ideal perfection to heal,” he answered. “Now I stay here. You walk down to the tree; you walk on the paths and sit on the stone facing the Jujube tree. You ask question, then you come back and we talk.”

I continued walking down the side of the mountain toward the meadow. As I approached the meadow, I could clearly see the many intricate designs throughout the garden. The pathway entering into the garden was made of smooth flat stones set close together, with multiple colored ground-covering growing in-between the stones. As the pathway continued, the stones became further apart, requiring a longer stride in my step. The grass throughout the meadow was a deep, moist green; different shapes had been cut out of the grass exposing the dark soil. Within these shapes were plants, flowers, or unique shaped stones. The strength of the fragrance would vary, as the breeze shifted its direction. As I approached the jujube tree, I needed to take one expanded step. I saw the stone, raising about three feet above the ground in front of the tree. I sat on the stone, quieted my mind, and stared at the tree. Its trunk was very large with large branches coming off of it. The tree was 94 years old and had been well taken care of throughout its life. The branches had many thorns; it was not a tree you would want to climb.

I asked the question in my mind, “I find many people grow tired of healing, or as they heal they find something else that is in need of healing. Their healing seems to take all the energy they have. I see them walking through life, as if they have a great burden.”

I felt at one with the tree and heard in my mind, “The complex questions are the ones with the simplistic answers. Look around you; look at the great beauty of this garden. This garden took much work, much healing.”

I closed my eyes and could see my teacher’s father planting the jujube tree, but there was no garden, the entire area appeared to have experienced a massive mud and rock slide from the mountain. There was no vegetation, only brown mud and grey fractured rocks. “This area needed healed,” I heard. “So your teacher’s father planted the tree of healing, knowing his son would continue the healing of this area. He knew his new born son, was a healer from ancient China who would know healing.”

I asked to see what the area looked like, before the mud and rock slide. As I asked this, I could hear voices and movement of people in the area. On this site was a village full of people, going about their business of living, growing food, building or repairing shelter, sitting and visiting, and children running and playing. In the distance I could hear thunder and see dark clouds forming. The mountain became hidden in the clouds. I then heard a loud explosive sound, within minutes the entire village was buried, covered in mud and stone. You could not see any remains of the village or its people. There was dead silence.

I opened my eyes and sat there in front of the jujube tree, surrounded by the fragrance of the flowers and grasses. I could hear the answer. “This area was devastated in the disaster of the storm and mud slide, just like people can experience devastation in their lives, from the loss of loved ones to abusive childhood, abusive adulthood, abusive relationships, or to the creation of disease. There are many forms of suffering for humans and a great need for healing. Humans will work at healing a disease, trauma, or some form of pain, without stopping to enjoy each piece of their healing. This garden took many years to create; it took many years to heal this area. This garden was created in stages; the human body heals in stages. If one stage overlaps another stage of healing, it blocks the healing.”

I remembered this from my teachings of Tai Yi. Just as in Tai Yi, you must allow one exercise to work to heal before beginning another. You cannot overlap them, it blocks the healing. The same is true for all types of healing. The human body heals in stages and the stages must not be overlapped. It was a simple answer. I was excited to go back up the mountain and share with my teacher, what I had learned from the jujube tree. I walked rapidly up the path toward my teacher. I could see him standing there waiting for me.

As I approached him I asked, “Is this the correct answer?”

His answer shocked me and pushed me into another realm of consciousness to explore…Hossca

Part 7 of 9

 While assisting people in need, for almost 30 years, I have had the opportunity to meet and work with many different people with every difficulty, one could image.  So often I hear from ones, “I am just tired of healing.”  Some people seem to work on healing more than any other area of their life.  They feel burned out and want to give up. 

I remember well, a conversation I had 20 years ago in 1990 with my Chinese Teacher.  I had just returned from Greece doing a Jonah workshop on the island of Hydra. Just before the workshop began an old man came up to me, telling me he had worked for many years healing.  He was spiritually tired and looked forward to the day he would physically die.  As he was speaking I asked myself, where is the joy, where is the satisfaction of healing?  I thought to myself, when one heals is there a benefit to the healing, or does one just go on to the next healing issue?  A good question for my teacher the next time I see him.

 That opportunity came just days after I returned home.  I arrived at the Sacred Cave during mid morning.  It was very quiet with light filtering into the cave.  It had rained the night before and the air was filled with moisture.  It was a welcome relief from the dry air of Colorado. 

My teacher was not there, which was an indication it was a time for me to prepare for my coming lesson on healing.  I began thinking about the old Greek man and others I had encountered, who were tired of healing and just waiting for their physical death.  How can one heal and experience joy of life, instead of being tired of living?

As I was sitting there running these thoughts through my mind, my teacher arrived carrying large bags filled with herbs, strapped over his shoulder.  As he entered the cave I walked over and took the bags off his shoulder, realizing they must have weighed over fifty pounds.  I looked at him in amazement. He was 94 years old at the time and he had just walked up the mountain carrying this weight. His face shined with joy and excitement of life.  His body was free from pain, his mind was free from confusion, and his emotions were free from all the clutter most humans carry.

“Do you ever have pain?” I asked.

“Pain,” he replied. “Why I carry pain?  I have no room for pain.  You carry pain when you have room for pain.  A personal philosophy I choose to live.  But that not question.  You ask question you thinking about, then I answer question.”

“Tell me about healing?” I asked. “I find many people grow tired of healing, or as they heal they find something else that is in need of healing.  Their healing seems to take all the energy they have.  I see them walking through life as if they have a great burden.” 

“Healing?” he asked.  “You come with me.  I show you.” 

We walked out of the cave and took a different path I had not taken before.  This path curved downward, away from the lake and into a small meadow.  In the meadow was a large tree filled with fruit about the size of a plum.  “What kind of tree is this?” I asked.

“This called Jujube tree, it planted on day I was born, by my father.  This tree answer your question.”…Hossca

Part 6 of 9 

In 1985 my Chinese Teacher began teaching me the more advanced levels of Life Energy Flow Tai Yi. This presented the opportunity to work on many different people, from all walks of life.  It seemed every time I worked on someone, I would have a new set of questions for my teacher.  People with the same issues seemed to come in groups, as if they were presenting me with issues to study.  After each encounter with a particular group of consciousness, my teacher would work with me to develop a deeper understanding of the issue and how it developed.

During this time, the group consciousness seemed to be denial of healing.  On my next visit with my teacher in the sacred cave he said, “No Tai Yi lessons today, we go for walk and we talk.”

We walked down the mountain side to a large, flat rock overlooking a beautiful lake.  The rock was surrounded by many lavender colored flowers, while a gentle breeze filled the air with their fragrance.  In his broken English he said, “I teach you denial.  What you see around you?”

I answered, “I see the lake, flowers, and trees.  I see much beauty.” 

“You close eyes,” he said. 

I closed my eyes and heard a strange sound, not unlike someone scratching their fingernails on a chalk board.  “Now you open eyes.” 

I opened my eyes and was shocked to see a very different scene.  The lake was gone and in its place were mounds of trash.  The trees and flowers were gone, dried out soil surrounded the rock we were sitting on.  The only thing that looked the same was the flat rock.  “How did you do this?” I asked.

“I not do this; you do this with your brain.  I put belief of denial in your brain, so this what you see.”

“Were the lake, trees, and flowers real?” I asked.

“What real?  What you want to be real?” he asked. 

“Beauty,” I said. 

“You close eyes now.” 

I closed my eyes and heard a sound like water in a creek, flowing over rocks.  “You open eyes now.” 

I opened my eyes and the lake, trees, and flowers were back as it was before.  “So what was real?” I asked again. 

“What real to the heart is this,” pointing his hands to the lake, trees, and flowers.

“So why did the other image seem real?”

“Because it real to ones who carry denial of healing.”

I was beginning to see the picture he painted for me.  Those in denial, see a very different reality than those who do not carry denial.  “So ones who are in denial of healing, do not see what needs to be healed,” I answered. 

“Yes, many walk about in secret pain.”

“Secret pain?” I asked.

“Yes, secret to them.  One will carry pain and denial of healing, and not know consciously they are in pain,” he explained.

“Would they feel anything?”

“Yes, they feel hopelessness, depression, fear, and anger; therefore that is what they experience.  That experience became real to them, just as the trash and sand with no trees and no flowers became real to you.  I give the belief of denial to your brain, so you see what others see and feel.  They not know what is real,” he said.

“So this is just like what the reporter told me a few weeks ago.”

He smiled and said, “Yes.”

I had thought back a few weeks ago, when I was interviewed by a reporter. He had just returned from Montana, doing an article on a series of cattle mutilations occurring there.  The reporter shared with me the interview he did with a veterinarian, who was called out to many different locations where cattle had been mutilated.  The reporter told me at the end of the interview, he asked the veterinarian if he thought UFO’s were involved.  The veterinarian thought for a few minutes and said, “No, I cannot allow myself to believe this.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

The veterinarian said, “If a UFO landed in front of me and I could walk up and touch it, I would have to deny its existence.”

“Why?” the reporter asked.

“If I allow myself to believe in such a thing, I would have to deny just about everything I believe in.  It would shatter my life. I could not allow this.  So no, UFO’s were not involved.”  I shared this with my teacher and he just smiled, as usual he already knew of my experience.

“Denial of healing is very predominating in your world.  Yes, many may come to ease pain, but even the pain is not the real pain, but referred pain.  That way, no healing occurs.  Look at your teacher, the Jonah.  He teach a subject and how often do the ones who need to learn it the most, are the ones who are not there learning.  Many in their denial do not see this; they see a different reality, a different world.” 

Just at that time, I thought of a man who came to see me about a month before.  My teacher smiled and said, “Yes, perfect example.”

The man, I will call George, came to me for headaches. When he laid on the massage table face down, I saw the back of his neck.  He had a large, black growth on his skin, which looked much like skin cancer.  “Do you have skin cancer?” I asked. 

“No, why would you ask?” 

I said, “There is a large, black growth on the back of your neck.” 

“There is not.”  He put his hand on the spot and said, “I do not feeling anything,” when obviously the dark skin was very rough.

“Go in the bathroom and look in the mirror,” I said. 

He got up, looked in the mirror and came back saying he could not see anything.  I asked my teacher if I was seeing something in the future and he said no.  He indeed had skin cancer, but would not see it or feel it, he was in denial. 

“How does one know they are in denial?” I asked.

“They need one who is not in denial to point it out.  Sometimes they will listen, sometimes they will not.  Sometimes they wait for the pain to be great, before they search,” he said.  “I now go eat my rice.  You go home.” 

“Is that all you eat?”

He laughed and said, “That all I eat, when that is what I like to eat. Health start here,” pointing to his head, “not here,” pointing to his stomach…Hossca

Part 5 of 9 

It was a cold and snowy day in Boulder, Colorado March 1985.  I was waiting for a woman to arrive for a Tai Yi treatment.  I had been having doubts about working on this woman, but she seemed in so much pain from her spine.  I heard car doors close in our driveway and looked out the window to see a man helping this woman walk up to our front door.  I opened the door and invited them in to sit on our couch.  She began to explain how she has had back pain from her childhood and was now in her 40’s.  The man with her was her husband.  He was very quiet, when he did try to speak, she would ask him to be quiet and let her do the talking.  After a few minutes, I had her husband help her get up on the massage table in the middle of the living room.  As always, I first did a scan with my hand to determine the depth of energy I was seeing in her body and in particular her spine.  I could not find any spinal injury which would cause this pain. I did find much anger from her childhood causing this pain.  As she was laying face down I began to ask her a series of questions about her childhood, relationships, and how she saw herself.  With each question she would answer no, no such event ever occurred.  I looked over at her husband, whom she could not see, and he was agreeing with everything I was finding, as she was denying everything.  After about ten minutes of this I finally told her, “You are too invested in your denial. You do not want to heal, but rather be taken care of and this is your way of doing it.” 

Her husband then spoke up and said, “Thank God someone finally has told her what she needs to hear.”  This she heard and became very angry.

I told her, “I cannot help.  If in the future you decide to look at your issues, then perhaps I can help you.”

She got up and demanded her husband take her to the car, speaking as she was walking, “This was a waste of time.”

When she left I could see waves of anger moving through our living room.  I gathered it up and sent it on its way, putting the energy of our living room back to its former state before she arrived.

A few days later I went to see my teacher.  I knew this was going to be a top topic of discussion.  When I arrived at the cave, sure enough he was there sitting on the stone Tai Yi table smiling.  “What did you learn about denial?” he asked.

I answered, “Denial is more painful than the physical pain one carries.”

“Yes,” he answered, “denial is much more painful because it carries pain in the mental and emotional bodies through to the physical body.”

“How does that work?” I asked.

“The meridians are currents of energy, these currents carry information.  Whatever information that is programmed for them to carry, they carry and deliver that information.  If pain is the program they carry, then the energy moves through the mental and emotional meridians to the physical and acts like an explosion.  This explosive energy translates into pain in the physical body, if there is already pain in the body, the pain increases.  I could say simply the Neuro-matrix centered on the portions of the cerebral cortex of the brain brings about perception of pain.  Now that would be an intellectual reply, you are looking for a spiritual understanding. Denial is an energy program.  It denies the energy of healing, the energy of joy.”

“How can one know they are in denial?” I asked.

“Know if they are in denial!”  He responded with a big laugh, “You can see it.  Did you not see it when she came into your home?”  

“Yes,” I answered, “but what about others needing to know this?”

“Yes others, well you look and see if they are spiritual shoppers.  Do they go about shopping for teachers until they find a non teacher who agrees with them?  The woman who came to your home was shopping; her mate was tired of shopping. He got it and she did not.”

“Now the meridians; they are carriers of energy, information, both pleasant and unpleasant creating pain or joy. Energy needs the direction of wisdom with knowledge.  How many deny who they are to keep face with family and social standards?  You are not separate from that which you believe.  What you believe to support your social standards is the energy that flows through the meridians.  Be in denial, you deny not only who you are, you deny healing.  You did well choosing not to work on this one. You would have absorbed this one’s energy.”  He smiled and said, “Now your next test will arrive next week, get some rest for this one, go home. I shall enjoy my rice”…Hossca